The Pillow and The Head

Christmas already!! It was just Labor Day a few minutes ago! In a couple of days, I will officially be a year older. In a few weeks, officially divorced. In a month, officially into a whole new year. I take seriously what I heard Terry Hatcher say to Bah-ba-wah Walters “you can not predict where you will be one year from now” referring to how the year before she was in her pajamas eating popcorn out of work and watching the Emmys to now being nominated for an Emmy.
Life is a series of changes. Yet, there is always a feeling that is stays the same. I guess it is about taking the leap into the change and not resisting it. Allowing to be led to where it is going. To not anticipate too heavily at what lurks around the corner of the future. To make where you are “now” the focus and the source of content. Learning the lesson and trusting that where you are is where you are suppose to be. That you will always land and at first, it may feel a little different but eventually the sameness of life pops back in. That the difference is not going to be in which State you land, which job you land or which relationship you land, that it eventually, “life” , will feel the same but what you learned before touching down from the last change is the difference and your contentedness and happiness will increase or decrease dependent upon what lessons you take with you.
Today, I want to resist change but know it will do me no good. I am a little under the weather and have been for a few days. With that, brings tiredness and with tiredness brings uncontented thoughts and not my ideal self. So, today, I did not wallow but rather just kind of went with the flow of the day, recognizing that I have these feelings that may be influenced by my tiredness and that I don’t have to do anything about them. To move forward with the responsibilities of my day and catch up with a friend over a delicious Peppermint Mocha (Starbucks Holiday treat-YUM! Just like an Andes After Dinner Mint).
As the end of my day comes to a close, I can say that I am comfortably exhausted. Knowing that I will almost go immediately under as soon as my head hits the pillow knowing that I can trust one thing for sure, that I cannot predict what will be tommorow so why even think about it. Just thinking about my head landing on that pillow in what will be just a few moments has me besides myself and undesiring to think about yesterday, tommorow, before, after, during or later. Just NOW. As my pillow prepares to comfort my sleepy head.

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