Can’t Help Myself

Could you believe that as I write this, I am sitting at a picnic table about 25 feet from a lake while 4 person bicycle things and picnic people surround me and pass me by. My picnic table sits at an angle onto the lake so it is almost like a perfect picture. What I can’t believe or what I’ve come to appreciate is that I am “online” in the middle of the park.
I came here to work because I couldn’t help myself but to go out on this beautiful day even though I have so much work to do. So I compromised and tried to keep a certain discipline with myself, packed up my computer, my phone modem and my dog and headed off to the park. This park was under my nose all this time and though I’ve been here, here and there, I never really took it in or saw how much it had to offer. In a small way, I feel like I’m in Central Park in NY . I finally found a little of my home near my home. So, of course I stop at Starbucks on the way and try their Iced Coffee. Pretty good.
So, my phone modem is working great, now that I’ve got a handle on how the heck it works and though I started to start to work on work, again, I couldn’t help myself but to express myself on this new little discovery of mine that I’m sure I will frequent all the time now.
Since I’m back into the rollerblading thing, and some of my friends are beginning to join in too, this is a perfect place. I can’t wait until I get a little work in today so I can then take Lil’ Cowboy for a walk around the lake and the park. He is rolling around in the grass, obviously happy and obviously stimulated with all the sights and sounds. He is still quite hyper and loves people and kids and dogs so he’s tied to the table so he doesn’t do a sprint of excitement towards people who don’t know that he won’t bite. All they see is this sort of big black hairy sheep dog looking dog running like crazy at them.
Gosh, the wind is blowing and I am under a tree in the shade. I can see my Mini Cooper off in the distance in the parking lot with the top down (it’s a convertible) and I have to say how lucky I am.
On another note, I am having such blocks in my work lately and I feel it’s almost like my whole life is in a metamorphisis and I could see how the next few months are going to be changing for me dramatically. I can feel it. Not just with my home, but with everything.
I have this huge urge to travel and live in Europe. Italy or Paris for at least one month or more and then travel and visit the neighboring cities. Lake Cuomo? Hmmmm?
Oh, shit. I just thought about it. What am I going to do with Lil’ Cowboy? Oy vey…..I’ll cross that path when I get to it. I don’t think I’ll have a problem though.
So my block to my work is huge and I am trying to revamp and it’s taking everything I have. I just can’t quite get it and am hoping to feel that excitement that I use to feel. Am I burnt out or just bored or am I naturally heading toward something else, something more up my alley since I am such a “free bird” lately (pun intended). The pun is that my name is Robin (as in Bird, etc.) I feel like I am just “living life” and maybe I just can’t stand being pulled back into my work away from the “freeness” and “living” that I’m doing….dont know.
I just feel great all around except for the stress of the block. My constant workouts with my trainer have finally paid off and I my body is back to where it was several years ago and it feels great. My true nature is to be outdoors and doing sports and outdoor stuff and I’ve missed that for years now but again, it’s all coming back. I can’t wait to dirt bike in the next few weeks, Something that I’ve been waiting to do for years…..but never got around to it.
I feel I just want to simplify and minimize my home and my work and just enjoy the world outside and what it has to offer.
I can’t express how the wind that just started to blow, making the trees rustle, make me fee so grateful for so many things no matter how hard some other things seem to be.
Okay, I’m gonna help myself and push discipline to get off the blog and work a little. I hope my block goes soon…….for someone like me, discipline is not my best trait and this is hard.
See ya.

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