Okay, I think I’m back. Back on track. Back in the saddle and smack dab back in the sack. Hmmm? Well not really back in the sack….at least not just yet. Which is probably a part of my problem to begin with. Anyways, I was thinkin’, I may be one of only a few girls/women in Westchester (who is NOT a “dancer” by trade-if you know what I mean) yet has the luck to have a “pole” in her apartment. Yes, that’s right, my new apartment has a pole. This pole thing seems to be the trend these days…all these gyms and dance places are offering classes that are getting housewives (if there is such a thing anymore) and singles (like myself) to take lessons on how to dance like a stripper or “strippa” as people from New York may say. Ya know, “Ba Da Bing”.
Well, maybe many people do have a pole in their place but to them and in the more conservativeness of this area, it’s just a pole, holding up the rest of their house. To me, my pole is…a pole. Uh, huh. That’s right. The kind of pole that if caught looking like a pole to conservative neighbors, you say it is for hanging flowers and things all around , yeah that’s it. Hanging flowers. Lol.
Now, having this pole is not to say is the reason I feel back in the swing of things….(pun intended)….because pole or no pole, no flower will ever bloom genuinely if they only do so with the watering from a fellow sprout. If the flowers happiness depends on the presence of the sprout, the flower is doomed to lose bloom. One’s happiness should not rely on any “one” sprout…..that’s why I have five.
Seriously, I know that wherever I have been or am right now mentally (and all that flowery psycho-babble stuff) is really good even if it’s bad…because I’m finding me. As corny as that is…I am finding me.
Which brings me to a whole other thought. Men. I know, I know….how did I go from “finding me” to a connect to “men”? Well all I can think of is it must be all this talk about poles (double pun intended)!
Ya know, it’s like this…you have the same amount of problems being single that you do when you are in a relationship. You get lonely at times being single and sometimes wish you were in a relationship but don’t you remember when you were in a relationship scuffing off down the street having had “enough” wishing to hell that you were single. It’s all vice-versa and versa-vice if you ask me.
There is always the green grass feeling when you are in a rough patch whether single or in a relationship and it’s the same every which way you go. It’s just a matter of choosing which is more “you” when the patches are good.
If you ask me, the challenges of a single life is one of four positions…he wants more of me-I dont like him enough, I want more of him-he doesn’t like me enough, we both want fun and no commitment-but after a while it gets played out and shallow and it’s not enough (and goes away) or you click in just the right places and “wa-la” it’s enough, and here comes the RELATIONSHIP-with moments of scruffing down the street thinking you want out and had “enough”.
I say keep movin’ on from the first three until wham, bam, thank you mam (or in my case “mister”) until you find that click. If it clicks, give it a shot to see if it sticks. Clicks don’t come around often so if you find you’re in one-give it a shot because sometimes if you don’t you may realize later what you may have had but let go. In any event, don’t waste too much time if it’s going nowhere. You don’t want to miss your chance at a next click.
Now who knows which way my path will lead….will my prince charming arrive in an hour, a day, a year….ever? Oh, the great mysteries of life…..In the meantime, I need to stay on track (now that I’m back), keep dancin’ (did I say that?) and keep my head out of that lull thing I’ve been in and…get happy. That’s right biatch, get happy!
Yes, there is one other thing I forgot to mention about being single, you tend to sometimes talk to yourself and call yourself names……
Caio (or is it Ciao)?