Freaky? Weird? Screwed up? Did I say weird? Kind of surreal….and out of the “is this really going down” book of situations. This was my experience the first part of the night, last night. Throughout this experience….my demeanor, my emotional side, and my “see it for what it is” was all intact and I was able to be objective and appreciate how fortunate I was to have a straight answer right in front of me. Although my ego was bruised, my emotional intelligence took over to really not give a hoot. Certainly not my loss. I love how I am just not wasting time in my head on bullshit and just focus on what makes me feel good. Live and let live. You do what you want, I do what I want. If what you do doesn’t make me comfortable or feel good, I won’t try to change it….I’ll just focus on what I’m getting out of it and if nothing or negative….just walk. No harm….no foul.
On the other hand, the later part of the night, into the wee hours………………..the sky fell. Completely different situation from above. An extremely close to my heart situation and although it sounds like a recording……my heart broke to pieces. Confused, bewildered and hurt beyond words could express, I looked at the clocked that said 5AM, took my Jetblue sleeping eye cover, cranked up the air conditioning, and slowly but securely, curled up and hid my head and body under the covers hoping to escape and hide from the world while the tears rolled down my face until sleep and the emotional exhaustion took over and I fell to sleep.
Upon wakening around 2:30PM (a complete rarity for me). The tears were still but a thought away but…thank goodness for my new found friend (band member) Chris and the understanding that musicians have of getting the crap out through music….This was how it was with my peeps (band members) from California (J Rock and Triple T). We had that special commorodity that cannot be explained. I think I have found this in Chris. I call him up “you available to help me let it out?” “Yes” he says (thank god)…and as I end this note, to make my way and get ready to sing some notes (and drink some wine and sing it hard and emotionally loud) I say…thank god for music…thank god for Rock & Roll……….!