This Too Shall….

Today I am hurting very much.  I am solemnly experiencing all sorts of feelings but mostly fear and extreme sadness and hurt.  I am keeping with the idea to let go and accept life as it has played out and trust that all is for a reason and that life will take me where I am suppose to be but with that, today, I am also feeling the hurt.  I cannot express in words the depth of my feelings.  I am hurting and scared and feel very lonely, even in a city packed with people at every turn.  I feel alone as if walking like a cowboy entering a deserted town with a ghost-like feeling everywhere. 

I am mourning the loss of a love.  A loss of trust and all that goes with it.  I want all this to be fixed and the hurt to go away.  But I know it is not in my hands and I am powerless.  This hurt, this emptiness, I have to go through when it shows up.  Today it’s here, hopefully tomorrow it won’t be.  I cannot run.  As much as I feel the pain, I get glimpses of  the gain.  “Growing pains” they call it.  

I do want these feelings to go away but they are  here and I have to ride them.  Ride them like the f&%ckers they are!  Pain is hard and I have to remember this will pass.  This will pass.  Gosh darn there, I hope this will pass…..!