Although overall, I am feeling terrific and so very grateful for so many darn things, like right now, as I sit at my favorite little mexican dive, sitting at the counter (it’s not a fancy “jurnt”, as my grandma use to say) sipping (soon maybe gulping!) a nice Chianti along with a delicious quesadilla (okay i’m not pairing properly. I know, I know.) and hearing songs from the restaurant’s speakers that hit me in the right places (or is that actually the Chianti!) and am in a state of “thrive” these days, I couldn’t stop from being hit with a bit of a gush of gunky gobbawuck today.
The last few weeks/months have lent themselves to me realizing a huge weight lifted from me, that of which I didn’t know at the time was so darn heavy, until it was gone. I started to float a bit. My spongeth return, so to speak. Taking in, absorbing, learning, living. Not that I didn’t always, but it was a little squashed and sucked dry there for a while.
Yet…even with this thrive, a feeling today arose in my stomach…and then decided to lay down flat for awhile. A campfire sadness, without marshmallows. Just crackles of fire and thrashing ocean waves (in the distance) apparent. Pondering the old, the familiar. Forgetting, if only for the moment, the burn previously achieved from staying in that sun too long.
“I have the aloe vera gel and the SPF 15 right here!”, I shouted outloud to myself (once I came back from my fluffy and flowery fog). “Put it on! Put it on!”, I demanded. So, as I obediently (yes I give and take orders from myself) applied this coat of burn protection, along with a smooth but cold coat of burn relief, such made for a historical recall and sneak-peek, release. Reality “came withered” and it stunk, and it reaked. I had to find a way to detoxify (did anyone say Chianti!).
Sometimes what starts out bright, “dim all the lights sweet darlin”, burns. Burns hard, burns you mighty. But just like sunburn, it eventually peels off and from it, a glorious sun-kissed tan. So today proved I still have a few peels to go but as is life, my tan is churnin’, my fire is arisin’ and and those big wheels in the sky keeps me rockin’ and rollin’ (thank god), groovin’ and shakin’ and turnin’ (even through the sometimes hurtin’).