Desiderata

How very right on.... Desiderata (Latin: "desired things"). 1927 by American writer Max Ehrmann. Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even... Continue Reading →

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Destiny

Destiny.  Is there such a thing?  My fate.  Is it guided by my choices or set in stone regardless?  Can't help but question the logic of what seems to bring me back to it all being circumstantial, sometimes coincidental but mostly derivative of circumstance.  Like a rock rolling off a hill that lands on a... Continue Reading →

Street Angel

Street angel Go again? Fool the world Loaded grin Praise seeker False speaker Mask master Lies swim Glory lover Story teller False reflections Sing sing Denier liar Charm farmer Fairweather friend

I always worry about you.  Do you know that?  No. I'm sure not.  You've no idea.  No idea the love that I felt for you or the wish that things could have gone differently.  But I'm happy.  Though I long for you sometimes.  I think, just because.  But it's an illusion...of who I thought i... Continue Reading →

Life Boat O’ Blues and Yonder

Awoke Saturday and for no apparent reason (that I am conscious of) with a lack of passion, feelings of loneliness, doubtful and overwhelmed.  The feeling of what the heck are we all here for and what's the "purpose".  What's my purpose?  Couldn't kick it.  I guess this is called the "being powerless over what feelings... Continue Reading →

Happy

I don't know what's come over me I feel like he's free Finally free If it's true God, is it true? I don't know what to believe, for sure. I'm just thinking that he's alive and been starting pure and held a stand for self dignity. I wish I could have been with him and... Continue Reading →

In the Bloom Bloom Room

I feel very fortunate. I've come into this thing called "music".  Wholeheartedly.  Not just listening or dancing to, but participating, writing, playing, performing, creating, hearing, watching.  I don't know if I would have it any other way.  I am discovering and learning and becoming.  The passion grows with each discovery or teaching no matter how small. How lucky to have the outlet... Continue Reading →

Mourning Has Broken…

I miss him I do.  I hate him too.  I miss the fantasy of the good in him.  I was fooled and am still a fool.  Anger is mine, every time I can see.  My heart is the real culprit.  It's easier to hate than to feel.  The craziness.  The mess. Why I put up with the stress?  Something within me. ... Continue Reading →

No chance.  No more dance.  I refrain.  No more pain.  No more lies.  Or disguise. I see you.  Betrayal.  Projection.  Deceit.  Deflected rage.  Injected blame.  Not my cross to bare or price to pay.  No rescue. No enable.  Objectify. Narcisistic supply.  The Alternative Escape. Starring Superman and the Narcissism cape.  Fly. Your next move? Use or an alternative caretake will... Continue Reading →

      Somewhere Over the Pain Beau...No chance.  No more dance.  I refrain.  No more pain.  No more lies.  Or disguise.  Betrayal.  Projection.  Deceit.  Defied. Deflected rage.  Injected blame.  Not my cross to bare or price to pay.  No rescue or enable.  Objectify. Narcissistically inclined and disabled. The Alternative Escape. Starring the real Superman with a narcissism cape.  Fly.  Next move.... Continue Reading →

The Floor

I'm heading for the floor, but I’m not dancing Lookin’ at the ground it’s bare, it’s cold It’s inviting The key to the dark room unlocked then seen Light hit the pixels the pixels spilled the beans I have to lay here for a moment find my way to a dream Where truth can hide... Continue Reading →

Fallen Angel

Come go with me.  Maybe one day. If life doesn't sweep you away, and courage made it's way.  I hope you dance. I hope you dance...

Kissing Frogs

Slow turn gonna gonna be one hard burn stayed through it over and over again should have been gone, that first time keep it movin, movin, movin on In the back now still clouds and smoke somehow clarity waiting for pick-up in the lost and found trailing for it like a hinted given hound can... Continue Reading →

Shooting Star

Hey you....shooting star....you are, you are....don't you know.  Snow goes.  Drives slow.  Meets the river reaper.  Your time.  End or Shine.

Burn Baby Burn

Although overall, I am feeling terrific and so very grateful for so many darn things, like right now, as I sit at my favorite little mexican dive, sitting at the counter (it's not a fancy "jurnt", as my grandma use to say) sipping (soon maybe gulping!) a nice Chianti along with a delicious quesadilla (okay i'm... Continue Reading →

The Best I Ever Had…

So I head out last night with a girlfriend for a sort of mini girl's night out .  We agree to make our way to The Bayou in Mt. Vernon, NY (www.bayourestaurantny.com) as our first stop - for a cocktail, some chicken wings (my favorite place for wings - darn good!) and figure the game plan for the rest of the night.......... Continue Reading →

No Detour

Ever want someone but you had to leave View from the window Came down to the street The hard of the road pave set in place before the acquaintance Brought to a road block with a sign down, fallen to pieces Dents made deep when met with resistance No way through or ‘round the head,... Continue Reading →

Lost and Found

In the process of feeling lost, I am finding myself.  Thought I always knew myself but realize I have been living somewhat on the run all my life.  Dependent on fulfillment from the outwards-in rather than from the inwards-out.  I really never thought I was like this.  I thought I had this handled.  As I am getting... Continue Reading →

The Hallway

I've been meaning to write but have had such a plethora of emotion lately, I didn't know where to start.  So many goodbyes life brings about, along with anticipations and doubts of new hellos that sometime play "fear the reaper" I think, without us even realizing it.  Fearing new hellos, or fearing there won't ever be a new hello.  I guess, I... Continue Reading →

Love Leaves

Love left me now, Love showed me how, Love followed a track, Love didn't come back.... Love leaves Its time I breathe Time I see Love wasn't love Love doesn't flee   (originially wrote sometime in May 2011 - exact date unknown)

The Lost Coat

Today I feel anew.  New start.  New beginnings.  The weather, with the spring/summer season finally arriving, probably plays a part in catapulting this feeling.  Putting away the cumbersome coats of winter for a lighter fair of willowing summer clothes. A sort of metaphor that once played out in my life... About a favorite coat I had once. ... Continue Reading →

Once Upon a Time in New Jersey…

Delightful is the word I use after seeing this musical comedy down at the Hudson Guild on the West Side of Manhattan off of 26th Street.  Funny, sweet, a touch of rambunctiousness and talented actors.  I was pleasantly surprised at the tight production and the live band that parlayed its way succinctly with each segment and... Continue Reading →

Tim Curtin and Friends Indeed

Well I guess a good way to get my mind off my woes is to talk about something that recently wowed me instead.   This wonderful little rock & roll (with some jazz thrown in) band named Tim Curtin and Friends (www.timcurtinmusic.com) .  What a fabulous surprise it was to see such talent out of a... Continue Reading →

This Too Shall….

Today I am hurting very much.  I am solemnly experiencing all sorts of feelings but mostly fear and extreme sadness and hurt.  I am keeping with the idea to let go and accept life as it has played out and trust that all is for a reason and that life will take me where I... Continue Reading →

“Lonely” (x5), Time.

It's hard, when the weekend comes.  When you and me are no longer.  The missing you begins.  Or rather is more apparent. It was hard, when the weekend came.  When me and you were together but didn't get along.  The wanting to lose u began.  Or rather was more apparent. Which is better?  To be with the love that hurts or... Continue Reading →

Havin’ Ourselves a Rock-N-Robin Time.

ROCK -N- ROBIN @ The Keltic House 6/19/10.   Finally!  We got it together to make it happen and happen it did.  It was a fun night headlining with the new setup (Me, Michael D'Andrea-Drums, Chris Gorgone-Lead Guitar and George Demas-Bass/Keyboards).  I must have had about 8 shots of Yagermeister (spelling?) with no effect (which is why I... Continue Reading →

Love, A Many Splintered Thing

I've heard that in a relationship, as long as you like or get along with the person 51% of the time, it's a good thing.  If it's 49%, you're in trouble and you may want to re-think the relationship.  It's funny what a few percentage points can do. I'm not quite sure I buy into this... Continue Reading →

Mrs. Mojo Antigone Rising

Went to see this band (these girls) an all female band at an intimate show setting in the Bronx at Lehman College a few weeks back.  The first of an original music band series the school is putting together and trying out.  At first, before the band came on, I was kind of feeling I might be getting... Continue Reading →

Miss Da Bellevue Dear?

"If you saw me yesterday, you might have thought you needed to call the White Coats....some younger  generations may not understand what that means but if you do, you are probably from New York City or one of the boroughs or maybe it was a saying around the nation back when I was a kid. I... Continue Reading →

Back Asswards

Well I've returned to my blog with a bit of a zing (not so much of a bang) to update it and hope to get back into the flow of posting blogs often like I used to.  I know I've said it before, but I think I will this time...I can kind of feel it (semi kind... Continue Reading →

Flip The Flap Jack

After all these years....and all those moments when I have raced against the paper cover dolup thingy to get my butt to the toilet seat before the auto flush had a chance to flush, sucked in the paper and then pull it down, I have had a flap awakening!  Those times, when one is not at home and too tired to stand,... Continue Reading →

The Old Man and the Sea(t)

Did you ever just have one of those moments that come from nowhere that just brings warmth to your heart and hope to your soul.  While walking around the city today with my laptop in my backpack and my head between my knees (the boo hoo's of life hitting me these days scenario), I took... Continue Reading →

It’s Been A Long Time

Whoa!  A slow whirlwind of time passing by.  Six months since I last blogged in.  Coinciding with the resignation date of my previous job.   You would think with what should have been extra time on my hands I would have more time to blog but it turns out that I first ended up (as originally planned)... Continue Reading →

The Ever Changin’ Evolvement of Me

Oh, Shitza (and I'm not referring to a river in Hebrew)...it's me saying..."oh, shit" (but trying to be lady-like).  Oh, fuckershit (to hell with the lady-like!).   Just had to let it out.....  Oy vey!  Is it hitting me.....?  Do you mean that bottle of really delicious Shiraz/Casteleo red wine from Portugal that you just noticed you... Continue Reading →

Iron Man….Yes You Can

Okay, I'm a little outdated but I visited Circuit City the other day in the city (New York) and they had this great new flat screen tv that played Iron Man and.....an hour later (literally) I found myself (between ewws and ahhs and ha-ha's) grabbing my things quickedly as I was now late for a... Continue Reading →

Ch Ch Ch Changes…

Life.  Hmm.  Life.  Very difficult at times.  Yes, you have to take the bitter with the better but my bitter has built and I don't like it.  I'm synical where I use to be positive.  Disenchanted when I use to see the silver lining.  I feel challenged on so many levels.  I see such self-centeredness... Continue Reading →

Where I’m From

you are where im from city streets, city upbringing they came off the boat -ellis island a workers life to make ends meet - the goal no dreams...bring home the bacon hush hush - on anything seemingly indiscrete by others standards neighbors - bus drivers, garbage men and officers  anything will do just make ends meet, bring... Continue Reading →

Hell Yeah!

        Well...it's done.  I nailed the drummer.  In this case, nailing the drummer meaning his acceptance in joining the band.  Which is what went down last night (Saturday Night). Since the moment I saw this drummer play, he sent every cell in my body stir crazy.  A powerhouse.  When he showed an interest in my band... Continue Reading →

Here Comes The Gun, Doo Doo Doo Do.

Little did I know that after returning from a weekend trip to upstate New York that I would be coming back no longer in need of a possible botox injection that I may have been thinking of (yes I can be one of those "use what you got (and a little help don't hurt) to make the best of what you... Continue Reading →

The Importance Of Beer and the Family Rumble

Here I was on the way to a family party Saturday night sitting in the back seat of a car driven by a friend of a family member who herself is seating in the front passenger seat with another friend in the back with me.  We are crossing over the George Washington Bridge heading toward Palisades Parkway to go somewhere... Continue Reading →

Slump of the Underlying Kind

Not sure what it is, but I feel I keep coming back to a feeling of an underlying slump.  That I am not here nor there.  That against all of the "bloom where your planted" mantras, I don't feel bloomatic.  Rather, I feel like a fallen leaf winter stem of a flower sticking out of a patch of... Continue Reading →

Rock & Roll and Lettin’ It Go.

Freaky?  Weird?  Screwed up?  Did I say weird?  Kind of surreal....and out of the "is this really going down" book of situations.  This was my experience the first part of the night, last night.  Throughout this experience....my demeanor, my emotional side, and my "see it for what it is" was all intact and I was able to... Continue Reading →

Stairway to Heaven on Eleven(th)

Last night I had the opportunity to climb to the top of stairs and experienced a little bit of heaven.  I showed up at the Montana Studios in midtown Manhattan to watch a new found friend's Led Zeppelin Tribute Band's ("The Song Remains the Same") weekly Saturday night practice and...... was blown away.  Prior to accepting the invite to go, I didn't... Continue Reading →

Laundry (No More) Do Da Day.

Well, before I go into my laundry "sitchiation", here I am at Mickey Spillane's in Eastchester sitting by the open shutter type window, taking a break from a long day working at home (which by the way I did not even get to see the light of day because work is just sooooo fricking intense and... Continue Reading →

Happy Days

So, I have been feeling so happy lately and that weird feeling that I had in many of my blogs in the last two months has for the most part disappeared.  Did it really have everything to do with my environment?  I cannot tell you how much I LOVE where I live and my neighborhood......it... Continue Reading →

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