Desiderata

How very right on.... Desiderata (Latin: "desired things"). 1927 by American writer Max Ehrmann. Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even... Continue Reading →

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Mourning Has Broken…

I miss him I do.  I hate him too.  I miss the fantasy of the good in him.  I was fooled and am still a fool.  Anger is mine, every time I can see.  My heart is the real culprit.  It's easier to hate than to feel.  The craziness.  The mess. Why I put up with the stress?  Something within me. ... Continue Reading →

Burn Baby Burn

Although overall, I am feeling terrific and so very grateful for so many darn things, like right now, as I sit at my favorite little mexican dive, sitting at the counter (it's not a fancy "jurnt", as my grandma use to say) sipping (soon maybe gulping!) a nice Chianti along with a delicious quesadilla (okay i'm... Continue Reading →

Lost and Found

In the process of feeling lost, I am finding myself.  Thought I always knew myself but realize I have been living somewhat on the run all my life.  Dependent on fulfillment from the outwards-in rather than from the inwards-out.  I really never thought I was like this.  I thought I had this handled.  As I am getting... Continue Reading →

The Hallway

I've been meaning to write but have had such a plethora of emotion lately, I didn't know where to start.  So many goodbyes life brings about, along with anticipations and doubts of new hellos that sometime play "fear the reaper" I think, without us even realizing it.  Fearing new hellos, or fearing there won't ever be a new hello.  I guess, I... Continue Reading →

This Too Shall….

Today I am hurting very much.  I am solemnly experiencing all sorts of feelings but mostly fear and extreme sadness and hurt.  I am keeping with the idea to let go and accept life as it has played out and trust that all is for a reason and that life will take me where I... Continue Reading →

“Lonely” (x5), Time.

It's hard, when the weekend comes.  When you and me are no longer.  The missing you begins.  Or rather is more apparent. It was hard, when the weekend came.  When me and you were together but didn't get along.  The wanting to lose u began.  Or rather was more apparent. Which is better?  To be with the love that hurts or... Continue Reading →

Miss Da Bellevue Dear?

"If you saw me yesterday, you might have thought you needed to call the White Coats....some younger  generations may not understand what that means but if you do, you are probably from New York City or one of the boroughs or maybe it was a saying around the nation back when I was a kid. I... Continue Reading →

Ch Ch Ch Changes…

Life.  Hmm.  Life.  Very difficult at times.  Yes, you have to take the bitter with the better but my bitter has built and I don't like it.  I'm synical where I use to be positive.  Disenchanted when I use to see the silver lining.  I feel challenged on so many levels.  I see such self-centeredness... Continue Reading →

Rock & Roll and Lettin’ It Go.

Freaky?  Weird?  Screwed up?  Did I say weird?  Kind of surreal....and out of the "is this really going down" book of situations.  This was my experience the first part of the night, last night.  Throughout this experience....my demeanor, my emotional side, and my "see it for what it is" was all intact and I was able to... Continue Reading →

Where’s the Rainbow

I feel I have lost my trust with God and it is not good.  Yes, maybe I am tired and emotional from the long weekend and the sun but I can't deny feeling very disappointed and extraordinarily hurt and broken-hearted by many things and many people in my life.  More importantly I am exhausted from always having to be... Continue Reading →

Pole in the “Hoe”

Okay, I think I'm back.  Back on track.  Back in the saddle and smack dab back in the sack.  Hmmm?  Well not really back in the sack....at least not just yet.  Which is probably a part of my problem to begin with.  Anyways, I was thinkin', I may be one of only a few girls/women in Westchester (who... Continue Reading →

A Little Cheese with that Whine?

Okay, so my last blog was a little long and a little whiney.  Although true to how I was feeling then, and if I am to have a little extra cheese for a slight more whine, a bit of how I am sporadically feeling now.  Although I see the light a little brighter now!  Halle-hecka-luyah!... Continue Reading →

Les Miserables

I am seriously miserable.  I don't know what is wrong.  I am completely lost and have no idea what my life is doing.  I am neither here nor there and I am just moving along.  I don't like this.  I really hate it.  I can't seem to kick it outside the distractions of life.    Unhappy. ... Continue Reading →

Freak Out

Woke up in the middle of the night from reaaaaaallly freaky nightmares.  Really freaky to where I was very frightened and had to force myself to think of good things to get myself to sleep.  It was scary.  I'm not sure where this came from other than the Mexican food the night before, the coffee,... Continue Reading →

Crack In Two

My arm is about to fall off and my neck about to stiffen if I don't get my butt up out of this chair and STOP working on the computer. These days, I am doing EVERYTHING on my computer. I have even caught onto Online Grocery Shopping (we're they deliver) so that in the midst... Continue Reading →

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