An Ex of the Unbenowngst

Okay, I just have to say that I think my ex has sincerely lost his mind and I honestly don’t know how I spent all that time with the mentality that he has. No wonder I went kookoo. There is so much darkness and hate and negativity that I am taken aback and it’s not all directed at me. It’s like these little things keep popping up that show how chaotic and ugly life around this person was. Always some sort of threat or control or whatever. The reality for me is that I really don’t get how I did it and spent time with this very spirit-less type person and this isn’t meant to be a put down toward him but a validation and a shocker really for me that I see things and him so differently and how i really was 10,000 miles away from being anywhere parallel to him in commonality. I am really besides myself with how he has held onto and keeps lashing out with rage and vengence and all it keeps doing for me is sincerely hoping he gets happy and finds happiness. I am besides myself that he is such a foreigner to me and I don’t understand how he or anyone can have such angst in life that he does. The lack of peace within himself must be unnerving. These are some of the wonders of life. How people live. What they are comfortable in living with, and how they live with such lack of spiritual peace is, well, makes me think and understand why there is so much craziness in the world.
Anyways, all I know is, I’m free from that and I’ve done a 360 in my life. I really don’t know who that old Robin was. I was in a fog, really. Really. An 8 year old fog…… with a frog. Warts and all (metaphor). What a fog I was in.
I feel like my life is on renewal. A new me. Opened to all things that I closed off and smothered about myself in the last 8 years. Like a time warp where my life stopped for eight years while I went through the motions of sick comotion and derailment of the true path of my life. I feel alive and kickin’ and if you were to ask me to trade my today for any day with my ex of yesterday or if I would consider ever to be with him again, I wouldn’t have to think twice. He is literally a stranger to me and not just physically but who he is so unattractive and undesirable to me that I have nothing but relief and thanks that he is a past part of my life. It was an eight year old fog that I guess I had to go through to come out of. I was that screwed up that it took me eight years to work through it and work myself out of such a wasteful relationship.

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